THINGS dat i want U to KNOW!!

hi how are u??
well, it appears u hv sum difficulties to cum online wenever i need u, so i jus send u this mail to tel u da things dat bother me..
many things happend in this very short period of time, things that i thought wudnt be happend..i regret it everytime i think bout it, i made a mistake which caused misunderstanding between us. a mistake which caused chaos. i realy shudnt hv gone wit da girls dat nite.

well, personally i call it misunderstanding coz it trully is. however, u live in da fact based on the seasoned stories which make me looked so cheap, slutty, bitchy or watever u love to call me. but honestly, now i can take it wit a smile on my face. it was something for me to fight for coz as the matter of fact, we all kno dat i was not any of those words. i was not, i am not and i wont be..(did i give u a sarcastic smile on ur face by writing dat??) i think i did, coz we both kno it very clearly dat i have changed ur opinion bout me wit "a lil" mistake.

sadly, u have ended everything between us witout clear explanation to me. once, u came to me n said da problem was u n u apologized n u jus wanted to be only frens. i cudnt take it at first but finally i cud. in another time, again u came to me and repeated all the shits and put the blame on me then asked for my explanation. i explained but u cudnt understand or even face the truth dat i gave to u. (it seemed to me that ur mind had been poisoned wit sth really bad)

and again u came tome wit the same old shits n demanded explanations. so again i explained wat i had to say and wat i had to explain n wished dat u had had antidote after being poisoned. sadly, u had other deadly poison instead of antidote. after many times of explainin efforts i did to rescue all the beautiful things between us, i felt tired. and seriously i felt so tired. sumhow it came to my mind dat i have wasted my time in giving explanation. last time i thought u wud choose me than ur frens.. well, not exactly choose me, but then u could have trusted on wat i have said n explained to u..

at first u did, but then u heard 'stuff' again and u started to doubt bout me again.. it happened repeteadly. it hurt me so much wen i got to kno dat u didnt trust me as what i expected. u hurt me repeatedly.. many times, did u actually mean it wen u said u didnt wanna c me cryin?? or actually u did it on purpose coz u think i deserved it?? i cried n felt so sad so many times bt unfortunately i didnt count it..

one day in da morning, i told yola dat i shud find sum1 and i wanted to do it coz it might be da best way to get rid of u from my mind. in da nite, out of nower u sent me a mesg sayin 'sayang' to me.. so wat i did after readin ur mesg?? sad?? cried?? hell yea!! wat else i cud do?? after being abandoned for quite sumtime, u suddenly sent me a mesg, for ur information, dats hurtin..again, yesterday mornin, i told yola dat i seriously hv to forget bout u n look for oth guy which is kinda difficult for me to do.. then u suddenly nudged me sayin those stuff.. dat hurts..so much.. how many times do u actually wanna do dat?? r u happy by seeing me tortured like dis??

i've been livin wit ur shadow since 23rd of july, i cant do dis anymore.. it hurts me.. i told nish not to lend u her phone to call or mesg me again in future, coz wenever u come to my mind, it jus disturbs me..i wish i cud be happy wit u as da history in my life, but seriously i find it very difficult, i feel so sad evrytime i think bout u..

remember wen i called u dat nite aft receivin ur mesg?? u asked me about my new boyfriend?? u seriously thought i cud have a new boyfriend that fast after breakin up wit u?? dat is the most absurd thing dat i hv ever heard..n btw, it hurts me so much again..i told u dat u hv the ability to hurt me unintentionally but naturally.. i mean it.. by doing so, u tell me how a lil thing has changed ur perception bout me like a finger snap..


y am i sendin u dis mail and sayin these things to u??
this is what i wanna tell u actually..
i am a nice girl..
i am trustable..
i am loyal..
i am pretty..
i hv slimmed down..(which i did i for u)
i realy want to make these things clear, dat i am still da girl who u had da relationship wit.
i want u to kno dat i'm nt those words of girl dat i hv stated earlier.
do u actually deserve all this explanations?? basicly u dont. y??
because u hv doubted bout me.. once i swore upon my mom, dad n grandma, still u dnt believe me and asked me those things again yesterday.. cn u imagine how sad i was yesterday?? no u cant :)we broke up nicely, so i realy need u to bare dis in ur mind dat i am a nice girl.. it never changed n it wont change. plz dnt change ur opinion bout me after all this.. as i hv told u last time, i realy care bout ur opinion bout me..

wel, i hv 5 reasons above as my assets, but still u turned ur head away, so i'm livin wit my assumption dat i'm realy not enough for u.. by hvin such assumption to live wit, i'm tellin myself to improve..

told u i love u and will always do..
this feeling remais the same, even now..
told u i miss u all the time,
this feeling wont fade away..

i miss u n i love u sachin..
forever (find this word's meanin in dictionary)
bye n take care